Scattered Pieces

These are the words I held back

Day X: Just Another Typical Day

broken-chain

As if on cue, his eyes pop open and he realizes that he has finally woken up from his sleep. A sleep that felt as if he simply closed his eyes for five or six hours. There is no feeling of grogginess at all. Just a feeling of alertness.

Despite being awake, he continues to lie on his bed. He knows he has places to go for the day but he doesn’t want to leave his bed just yet. He still wants to remain in the comfort of his bed. He still wants to feel the fabric of the comforter wrapping him in a cocoon. He wants to imagine it as if it were talking to him.

“Don’t worry. I’m here now and I will make sure you are safe and that everything will be okay.”

But he knows he must eventually get out of his paradise. An invisible force beckons to him to rise from his bed and start his day. With a sigh, he forces himself to get up from his bed. The bed protests. It does not want him to go just yet but he does not have a choice.

As he gets up from bed, he instantly begins to feel heavy. The strange thing is that he can’t seem to pinpoint the exact location of that heavy sensation. Nonetheless, he continues to head for the door. The door that would reconnect him to everyone and everything. The world basically. He goes out and steps into the living room.

The world’s greeting is a cruel one. A vision suddenly pops right in front of him. He see a young boy and who is presumably his father seated across each other. The father seems to be teaching something to the young boy but the young boy looks like he could not understand a single thing. This leaves the father greatly frustrated and the young boy can do nothing but bow his head down.

End of vision.

He goes down and discovers that the food has already been served and all that’s left is for him to eat it. He takes a seat and begins consuming his food. In a matter of minutes, he finishes breakfast…but not before getting another vision.

This time, the vision involved four people: the young boy, the father, a woman presumably the mother and a young girl. The young boy and the young girl are eating and are not minding everyone else. The mother and the father, however, appeared to be fighting. The father is in a fit. He seems to have a bad temper because he soon grabs a glass of water and spills it all over the table, drenching the tablecloth. Before leaving the area, he makes a loud bang on the table. The mother, on the other hand, could do nothing but just roll her eyes and sigh.

And again, he shakes off the vision as he prepares to go up.

Upstairs, he sees that his family is still asleep. Because of this, he is careful not to make any sound.

Soon, he is stopped in his tracks because the scenario is changing. The mattresses that were placed on the floor vanished. The master bed began to have more occupants. As his eyes focused, he realizes that the young boy is lying down facedown with the butt slightly exposed. The mother is also there. In fact, she is gazing at the boy and she appears to be saying something in disgust. Out of the blue, the father appears and he was holds a belt. In a matter of seconds, the belt rudely kisses the young boy’s butt and the next thing he hears is the sound of someone crying.

And then the vision just ended. Poof.

Guess it was just another hallucination, he thinks as he makes his way to the bathroom.

In the bathroom, he begins to think of what is to come. What will happen to him and the people around him? Will there be anything new today? How will today’s interactions go? Will his ever awkward personality side take over again? Will he be socially inhibited again for the day? These questions continue to linger in his mind even as he is already on the road.

As he reaches his destination, he begins to feel lighter now and his day officially begins. As he slowly settles into the background, he begins to see everyone. The friends, the acquaintances and the strangers. He settles into his place and begins to blend in with the crowd. It isn’t until the afternoon that he begins to see his true friend. For an hour or two, they talk about all sorts of things ranging from the most general issues like the weather to the most delicate issues such as a breakup.

Later, he encounters another friend but he is not very comfortable being around this person but they are able to talk about different things. This friend of his is quite an open person and he would love to reciprocate the deed. However, something is holding him back from doing so and he realizes that he is afraid that this person may not accept him if he completely shows his whole self. As a result, the rest of the day is quite uneventful and a cloud of awkwardness exists.

In order to temporarily dispel this cloud, he desperately searches for something that can be talked about. Anything just to reduce the tension that was building up in me. It works but as mentioned before, it is short-lived.

Soon, they go their own ways and it is time for him to go home. He is in a bit of a sour mood as his awkward side has resurfaced again.

“What have you done? I thought you wanted to be closer to people? Why are you doing the exact opposite?”

Those are the questions he repeatedly asks himself and he honestly can’t come up with a logical answer. The chance is already there but he seems to be letting it just slip away from him.

Meanwhile, he has reached his house. He opens the door to his house and greet all the occupants in it. Strangely, the heavy feeling has come back and it is preventing him from taking any steps further. Nonetheless, he still manages to make it to his room. As soon as that happens, he feels himself disconnect from the world.

In my mind, he can hear the snap that it makes as his connection to the outside world is temporarily severed. Subsequently, the energy that he had outside begins to seep through his pores. And now he feel myself slowly collapsing until the bed, dying to establish its connection with him, meets my heavy body.

This, however, does not for long because he knows that he has not yet accomplished his to-do list. For the rest of the evening, he gets to work. As motivation, he constantly reminds myself that the time for sleep will come in a few hours. He is only interrupted when dinner is already served.

During dinner, he is asked about a lot of questions. The topics are mostly about what he did today, how his day was and if there was anything significant that happened today. He is not in the mood to answer but he tries his best by answering well and by constantly tying a smile to his face. There really is no choice but to do that since all eyes are on him.

Half an hour later, everyone scatters and begins to mind their own business. His mother goes back to playing games in her phone. It’s that or she watches movies to kill time. His father, meanwhile, goes to their room, lies down on the bed, watches another show , munches on several snacks and starts acting like he is the royal king. From time to time, he calls on anyone who passes by the room for several favors. His sister, on the other hand, is in her room and at the hands of her nanny.

As for him, he remains in his room until 12 midnight. He begins to finish his interrupted work and he does not finish until the said time.

Finally, 12 midnight comes. The time for sleep has arrived and he can’t wait. He will be reunited with his bed and comforter, both of which he missed dearly during the course of the day. In a few minutes, everything is going to be alright again…..for the time being. He wastes no time in entering the room of his parents because it is where their beds are placed.

The room is cold because of the air-conditioning unit. He pauses for a moment to appreciate the cold. Ahhhh. So soothing.

And now the moment he has been waiting for.

He slowly gets into bed and begins to wrap himself around the comforter. Soon, he finds myself lying and staring in the dark. All the negative thoughts, with one major theme, slowly come to his mind.

“I hate this house. I wonder when I’ll be able to leave this place. I’m tired of going to every place and and being able to associate that place with bad memories. I hate the prevailing hypocrisy of everyone in this house. I think I’m gonna snap soon if I don’t get out of here.”

And that’s when he begins to crumble discreetly as he does not want to wake up his sleeping parents and sister from their slumber. The tears finally trickle down his face but he does not feel them at all. For these tears are evaporated tears. Dry sobs continue to rack his body. He continues this for as long as he wants because he realizes that he has already fallen in love with his pain.

He knows he can’t keep grieving forever so he begins to calm himself by thinking of the most special person in his heart and he begins to materialize this person into his comforter. The comforter because it is the closest thing that can grant him comfort, assurance and security. He imagines this person talking to him in soothing tone. This person hugs him and reminds him that all things will come to an end. That his suffering will have its end. Someday.

All these he does in the comfort of his bed and his imagination is the only thing that is capable of temporarily restoring him to his functional self.

Some time later, his imagination works. He is now temporarily relieved and now he is starting to fall asleep. His last thought before finally drifting off is this.

Get ready for the next battle.

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